Promise Not to Love Me
by Minorkae
Summary: DISCONTINUED
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho. It belongs to Togashi and other important people I will never meet.**_

_**This is my first KuramaxHiei fic. Please take that into consideration when reviewing and reading.**_

**Chapter One**

'_You are the essence, the meaning of desire_

_The shining star in darkest places, hope draws me near_

_Yet are untouchable; I reach, I miss_

_I fear I will never hold you, never tell you of my longing_

_Never feel your breath on my heart_

_Never hear your voice in my bones_

_Echoes of the silence you left still deafen; I hear not_

_I am blinded by your absence; I see not_

_Your desertion leaves me mute; I speak not_

_The lack of you is evil_

_Your dearth is sin_

_Three small words:_

_I miss you_

_I need you_

_I hate you_

_I breathe you_

_I see you_

_I speak you_

_I want you_

_I need you'_

I reread the poem four times before deciding that it was fine the way it was. Literature had never been my best subject, yet I was not a novice with words. Fine was fine. This was hardly incredible; it barely scratched the surface of what I meant to say. The last stanza was my favorite, so simple yet so emotional. _Minamino Shuichi_ I signed the bottom and turned it in.

The moment I returned to my desk, I wished I hadn't just given that poem to my teacher. I realized how personal it was. _It is ridiculous to feel that way; the point of the assignment was to speak from the heart. Anything less personal would be a lie. There is no possibility that my teacher could know that the poem is about a man, much less whom._ I tried to relax with that notion in my head. I reasoned that my teacher may believe that I was making it up off the top of my head: simply putting words together in a way that sounded pretty. _Please let that be the case._

- -

I avoided the usual gaggle of women attempting to flirt with me by taking the back entrance out of the school. What I wasn't counting on was Yusuke. "What are you doing here?" I asked the distracted-looking demon.

"Here's the thing," he said. "There's these people who want to kill me."

"There are, Yusuke, not is."

"What? Did you hear me?"

"Of course I heard you. You said 'there's these people who want to kill me.' I hardly think that is news."

"But these aren't people-people; these are spirit-people people."

"If you say 'people' one more time, the poor word will lose all meaning."

"Why aren't you taking this seriously?"

"On the contrary, Yusuke, I am taking this very seriously. Why do these 'spirit-people people' want to kill you?"

"Okay, so it's technically illegal that I'm here."

"It always has been."

"No, now it's _really_ illegal. I just moved up to Super S-class. Orders are to 'terminate me on sight.' I'm a danger to the living world and I have to either move back to Tourin or die."

I started walking toward home. "Then go back to Tourin."

Yusuke kept pace with me. "I don't want to."

"Then die."

"Kurama! How could you say that?"

"I don't care what you do, Yusuke. It's your life, not mine."

"I thought we were friends. I came here to invite you back to demon world with me. Now you're acting all squirrelly like you hate me."

"I apologize; I've had a dreadful head-ache all day. Terrible news does nothing to alleviate my pain. I cannot return to demon world, I have familial obligations."

"Yeah, I kinda figured. It's just that… well, you're my only demon friend. You're the only person who _could_ come back with me. Unless we turned Kuwabara into a demon…"

"Do that then."

"Are you kidding? Is that even possible?"

"Yes."

"How do you turn a human into a demon? And don't tell me to use the Shadow Sword 'cause that's not gonna fly."

"If you took him to be your mate in demon world, he would become a demon."

"Mate? Huh?"

"If you took him to demon world and had sex with him, he would become a demon. Is that clear enough?"

"Wh-wh-what? _Sex_?"

"That is the only way I know of."

"Won't you even _consider_ coming to the Makai with me?"

"Yusuke, how long have you been in love with Kuwabara?"

"Wait! Who said I loved him?"

"Just answer the question."

"No."

"Fine, then I can't help you."

"Okay, fine. I've been in love with him for six months. Big deal. He doesn't love me back which means that your suggestion is stupid."

"If you tell Kuwabara that you love him and ask him to move to the Makai with you, I will consider going with you both."

"What if he says no?"

"Then you go alone." I started walking faster. "You have three days."

"No, I have one. I have today and by noon tomorrow or else they send out the SDF."

"All the more reason to go find Kuwabara and tell him how you feel. What do you have to lose? If he laughs in your face, you return to the Makai and find someone else and you never have to see him again."

"But I lose you too."

"I will visit."

"Fine, asshole. I'll do it." He took off and was gone.

_**So, there's chapter one. REVIEW!!**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**I'll bet you all thought I forgot about this story. Actually, you all is a major overestimation of how many people are reading this. I hope you appreciate this nice short(ish) update.**_

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Chapter Two**

My mother cried for two hours straight when I told her that I was leaving and on the day of my departure, she cried until well after I had already gone. I tried to assure her that I would be okay and that although I would not be allowed to visit, I would write to her every week to let her know I was well.

Because of Yusuke, I had to leave two and a half days sooner than Spirit World expected me to leave. Yes, I was forced to leave Human World as well. I hadn't told Yusuke that as a minipulation tactic. I wanted him to tell Kuwabara how he felt and also, I wanted Kuwabara to come with us. I knew that if Yusuke told him how he felt, Kuwabara would come willingly.

But Yusuke never told him how he felt. All he told Kuwabara was that he was going to turn him into a demon somehow. I wanted to scold him for that once I found out what he had done but Kuwabara was there so I refrained.

I also over-estimated and miscalculated Kuwabara's feelings for Yusuke. He didn't love him, which we found out much later.

We were standing at the outside of the portal to Tourin, having just passed through. Yusuke seemed unduly nervous, Kuwabara was being twitchy and I was feeling nothing short of melancholly.

Here I was, finally in the same world as the man I loved and I couldn't be near him because he lived in another country. Not to mention how much I missed my family.

"Kurama?" said Yusuke. "Come on, let's get to the castle."

I nodded my agreement and we headed for the castle.

Once inside, Yusuke gave us a brief tour and set us up in our own bedrooms. I couldn't help but notice that Kuwabara's was right next-door to Yusuke's. It was amusing to say the least.

We settled in the small dining room to have an early dinner. It had been a while since I had had Makai food. It was every bit as delicious as I remembered.

"So, Urameshi," said Kuwabara. "When do I become a demon?"

"We'll talk about it later," Yusuke said with such calm that I almost believed he wasn't nervous about telling Kuwabara the truth about how he was to become a demon. I knew better than that, however. "So, Kurama… I heard from Koenma that you _had_ to come here. Why didn't you tell me that yesturday when I came to talk to you about it?"

"I was teasing you," I replied casually before taking a sip of my broth.

"I don't know whether or not to feel insulted," said a voice from behind us that I immediately recognized as belonging to Hiei.

I turned around and couldn't help but smile.

"I'm leaning toward not feeling insulted because your guards informed me that you've only been here for a few hours," Hiei said.

"You seem weirdly cheerful," said Yusuke. "You sound like you're joking about it."

"Why shouldn't I be cheerful, Detective?" Hiei asked. "All of my dear friends are finally in the Makai where at least two of you belong."

"I'll be a demon too soon enough," said Kuwabara.

Hiei's eyes widened. "Oh, really? Which of our friends is going to turn you?"

"I am, and I'll thank you to drop the subject," said Yusuke.

/He hasn't told Kuwabara how he plans to do it/ I told Hiei telepathically.

Hiei smirked. "I think you will enjoy it very much," he said. "Where are your manners, Lord Yusuke? Why haven't you invited me to dinner?"

"Please, Lord Hiei, take a seat," said Yusuke.

"Since when do you two call each other 'Lord'?" asked Kuwabara.

"We're noble in the Makai," said Yusuke. "I thought I told you that. Hiei's just messing with me. He never calls me Lord."

Hiei smiled and sat down. A servant immediately brought him a bowl of soup.

"I still say you're acting weird, Hiei," said Yusuke. "You're acting like a happy person. It's not like you at all."

"What reason have I to be unhappy, Yusuke?" asked Hiei. "As I have already pointed out, my friends are here." He took a bite of soup. "What more could I want?"

"Sounds like you got laid," Yusuke commented.

"Yusuke, that was rude!" I exclaimed.

"Untrue as well," said Hiei. "I do not have a mate." He glanced at me sideways. "Yet."

I felt myself turning pink so I tried to change the subject but Kuwabara inturrupted me before I had the chance.

"What does having a mate mean?"

"Something similar to having a Ningin marriage," said Hiei. "Being with someone at the exclusion of all others. By which I mean, not screwing anyone else."

"Where did you learn such crude vocabulary?" I asked. "You are acting like an adolescent human, Hiei." I expected that to really boil Hiei's blood but he merely laughed.

"You amuse me, Kitsune," he said. "I missed that. So, Yusuke are you going to invite me to stay the night? It is awfully late."

"Hiei, it's a few hours passed midday," said Yusuke. "but if you want to stay, I'm not gonna stop you."

"Thank you for your hospitality." Hiei finished his soup and the servant came back to bring him the salad course. Everyone had already received theirs except me. I was taking my time with the soup because I had been feeling too depressed to eat. But the presence of Hiei made me feel much better and so I ate more quickly.

"Do your servants always do that?" asked Kuwabara.

"Do what?" asked Yusuke.

"Change your plate as soon as you're done eating."

"Well, yeah. You don't expect us to sit around waiting do you?" Yusuke had finished his salad and the servant came back immediately with the main course and salad for me as I had just finished my soup.

"Kurama, I would like to have a word with you after dinner," said Hiei.

"Of course," I said.

_**Review please!!**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Lesson learned. Never underestimate you fans. Thanks you guys for the lovely reviews. Oh and that suggestion… I'll think about it.**_

**Chapter Three**

Confident as ever, I walked to my bedroom in Tourin with Hiei in tow. Inwardly, I was shaking in my boots. What could he possibly want to talk about? The last time we had spoken, sparks had flown and I offended him by rejecting his proposition to give Yukina her gem back. I had thought that the next time I saw Hiei, I would be prepared for it. Nothing could have prepared me for what Hiei wanted to say.

Not his endless flirtation at the dinner table. No, that had only served to create confusion.

I sat on the edge of the bed near the headboard. Hiei stood hands on hips, smiling. Yes, smiling.

"How can I help you, Hiei?" I asked.

Hiei smile faultered and he looked down. "How can you stand being so cheerful all the time?"

"What do you mean?"

"That act back there was driving me crazy." He looked up into my eyes. "What the hell is Yusuke thinking? Turning Kuwabara demonic without telling him how! That is insane."

"Act?"

"Oh, Kurama… You know that wasn't me."

"I'm not sure I know _who_ you are."

"You know when I am behaving out of character. Give yourself at least that much."

"Yes, I was aware of something amiss with the way you were behaving."

"Set that aside for now. Kurama, I want to be with you."

"You what?"

"Tonight. Share the night with me."

"Hiei, are you hitting on me?!"

Hiei started chewing on the inside of his cheek and turned away. "No, this is a friendly proposition. I just want to be with you. Not sexually."

"Did something happen between you and Mukuro? Is that why you are here?"

"Kurama, can we not talk about that? I just want to spend time with you."

"Why?"

"I have something that I need to know. I have feelings for you that I don't understand. I just want you to speak with me and help me figure them out."

I reached out and touched Hiei's cheek.

"All you have to do is be here with me," he said, leaning into my touch.

"Flame, I would do that for you any time."

Hiei fell into my arms and embraced me tightly.

_**I know, really short chapter. Not even two pages long!!! I'm switching to Hiei's POV next three chapters then Yusuke's then Kuwabara's. They each get three chapters to tell their part of the story.**_

_**REVIEW!!**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Yow! I totally forgot this fic exsisted!! Thanks to... erm... what's her name... Gem- something, for reviewing and letting me know that I forgot. Yeesh.**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho which all of you are well aware of.**_

**Chapter Four: POV Yusuke**

I had no idea what Hiei wanted to talk to Kurama about. Well, that's not necassarilly true, actually I had a feeling it had to do with Hiei's pent up desire. I just hoped Kurama would be able to handle it. I knew how much Kurama loved Hiei and it worried me the way Hiei was looking at Kurama all lustily and flirting with him. Kurama seemed REALLY uncomfortable.

But thinking about that gave me some time to avoid thinking about how I was going to tell Kuwabara how he was going to become a demon.

Until he literally backed me up against a wall. "Listen, Urameshi," he said. "I already know how I'm supposed to become a demon."

"You do?" I asked, eyes wide.

"Yeah, I asked Koenma when he saw us off at the portal. What I can't figure out is why you didn't just tell me."

"I didn't think you'd agree to it."

"I'll agree to it. I don't have any problem having sex with you."

I sighed, very relived, until he said what he said next.

"As long as sex is all it is."

"What? Didn't Koenma tell you that you would be my mate?"

"Yeah, I don't care if we do it all the time, I just don't want it to be emotional."

I gaped at him. "Isn't it against your honor code to have sex with someone you're not in love with?"

Kuwabara laughed and released his hold on my shoulder. "You're making stuff up. My honor code has nothing to do with sex."

"Wow... um... okay..."

"You just have to promise not to fall in love with me. Okay? Promise not to love me."

I looked him in the eye and smiled. "No problem. I won't fall in love with you." _Because it's already too late._

Kuwabara grinned. "Let's take this upstairs. I can't wait to be a demon."

This was so unexpected that I just nodded and walked upstairs to my room -which was soon to become my and Kuwabara's room. Kuwabara kicked the door closed and kissed me. It was weird because it wasn't romantic, it felt a lot like lust.

That's when it hit me_ Well duh, it feels like lust!! He doesn't love me! _

His tongue slipped past my lips and explored. I fought him for dominance but soon realized there was no point.

He pushed me onto the bed, still kissing me and starting to unbutton my pants. I pulled away for a moment. "Have you done this before?" I asked.

"Does it matter?" Kuwabara grunted.

"I guess not."

"No, I've never done this before. But I know how." Kuwabara pulled my shirt off over my head and took off his own.

I started to feel an empty ache in my stomach, this wasn't how I wanted it to go. He was being rough with me and it made me feel dirty.

Before I knew what was happening, he was inside me. He hadn't even stretched me out first. It hurt a lot. To his credit, he waited a few seconds before pummeling me to let me adjust.

I closed my eyes. I couldn't look. I couldn't stand to look.

When it was over, I felt like crying but couldn't, so I just marked Kuwabara and let him collapse next to me. He fell asleep immediately but I couldn't sleep, not at least until midnight.

- -

I woke up alone. I hadn't expected Kuwabara to be next to me when I woke but I had hoped anyway. I took a long bath, scrubbing myself raw and ignoring the growing ache in my heart.

Breakfast was waiting for us when we all came down to the dining room. One of my 'underlings' came and handed me a notice from Yomi. He wanted to renew our peace treaty. I sent my demon minion back to Ganderra with instructions to tell Yomi that I had no problem renewing our peace treaty and to give him my thanks for his concideration.

I bowed my head and started eating breakfast without speaking to my three friends. Correction, my two friends and mate. I avoided looking at Kuwabara at all costs, even when it meant I had to stare at Hiei for about a minute.

Nothing seemed different between Hiei and Kurama except that maybe they were friendlier to each other and Kurama flirted back when Hiei made passes at him.

"Ura- Yusuke," said Kuwabara.

"Yeah?" I said, looking not at him but in his general direction.

"Can I talk to you a minute when breakfast is done?"

"Yeah, okay."

I ate as slowly as possible after that so I could avoid talking to my 'mate' as long as possible. Looking at him was a problem because I felt a dirty desire for him every time I looked at him.

Kuwabara lead me upstairs and I noticed for the first time that he had a massive amount of demon energy. I wondered how much stronger he would become. He sat down on the bed and I stood across the room. "What?" I asked.

"I wanted to thank you for making me a demon. I feel great," said Kuwabara.

"I know the feeling."

"Something wrong, Yusuke?"

"Huh? No not at all."

He stood up and smiled at me. "Good." He walked over to me and kissed me firmly.

"Hey, listen," I said, pulling away. "I don't like the rough-stuff, okay? I need you to be a little more gentle."

"Whatever you want, Nushi." 

I winced at the term of endearment.

"What?"

"Nothing." I kissed him so he wouldn't ask me any more questions. He got into it immediately and I soon found myself tumbling onto the bed. True to his word, he was much gentler this time.

But it still felt wrong.

All wrong.

_**I know that this update isn't nearly adequate for how long I made you guys wait for it. There's going to be a change in format though, I'm switching POV's more often than every three chapters. Next chapter will be Hiei's POV.**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Thanks for the reviews. They keep me going!**_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho.**

**POV: Hiei**

**Chapter Five**

"There is something seriously wrong with Kuwabara," I told Kurama a few nights later in our room. I had decided to stay in Tourin until my feelings for Kurama were sorted out. Then... well, I wasn't sure what would happen.

"What do you mean?" Kurama asked, brushing his hair, still slightly damp from his bath.

"Haven't you felt the energy coming from him lately? It's as if he's going insane. I wouldn't care ordinarily except that it's become an annoyance."

"I overheard him speaking with Yusuke last night. It seems as though Yusuke's feelings for him are one-sided."

"They are mated, Kurama. How could they be one-sided?"

Kurama sighed. "I never thought I could cause such a terrible situation to blossom for one of my friends. Yusuke is in love with Kuwabara."

"Are you telling me the baka doesn't love him back?"

"That is exactly what I'm saying."

"That is by _far _the most disturbing thing I've ever heard involving Kuwabara."

Kurama looked startled. "What do you mean?"

"How can you have sex with someone you don't love? It's completely wrong."

Kurama smiled. It was unnerving because the smile didn't reach his eyes. His eyes, in fact, seemed sad. "People do strange things, Hiei. Lust can drive people to do things they ordinarily wouldn't do. As can love."

"You know this from experience?"

"Yes. I do."

I sat beside Kurama on the bed and took the hairbrush from him. I began pulling the knots from his silken tresses. Kurama closed his eyes, smiling.

Once Kurama's hair was dry and untangled, I gave him a good scratching behind the ears. He hummed a senseless monotone and leaned into my touch. "You're very good at that..." he muttered.

"Hmm. It's like petting a cat."

Kurama opened his eyes slightly and I found myself suddenly drawn to him. I momentarily wondered what he'd do if I kissed him. He startled me by kissing me first. I got over my shock quickly and tilted my head to deepen the kiss. Kurama gently tugged at my hair eliciting a growl from deep inside.

I wrapped my arms around Kurama and pulled him down on top of me. "Hi- Hiei?" Kurama stuttered, pulling away.

"That would be me," I said impatiently.

"What... why... I think I may have momentarily..."

"Lost your mind? I know. Just shut up and kiss me before it returns."

"No, I'm sorry, Hiei. I can't." Kurama sat up and looked at me sadly.

"I'm not asking for sex, Kurama."

"I know but I don't know if I could stop myself if I start. You see, Hiei... I love you."

I laughed. "Yes. I knew that."

Kurama jumped. "You knew?"

"I don't risk my feelings on something that I don't know will work out."

"How exactly do you feel about me?"

"That is what I'm trying to find out."

Kurama and I spent the rest of the evening avoiding the subject of feelings and eventually fell asleep in each other's arms.

The next morning, I noticed that Yusuke was walking with a slight limp. He also kept casting weary glances in Kuwabara's direction. Kuwabara was oblivious to this of course because of the idiot he is and I decided that I needed to have a word with him.

- -

"You are an idiot!" I shouted at the taller demon, slamming him into a wall. "What kind of way is that to treat your mate?" We were alone in a corridor of the castle.

"Calm down, Shrimp. What are you talking about?"

"If you're going to have sex with someone you don't love, the least you could do is either use some form of lubricant or switch off who is on top so you don't give your mate a sore ass in the morning."

"What? Are you lecturing me on sex?"

"Good, boy, you finally grasp the concept." I punched him in the stomach for good measure. "Don't cause your mate undue pain, you psychotic nymphomaniac!"

Kuwabara threw me off with far more force than I thought he was capable of and I ended up breaking a hole in the wall with my head. "Who the hell are you calling a nympho?!"

"Hey!" Yusuke yelled from the doorway to a conference room. "What are you two doing? You're knocking holes in my castle!"

"Your mate is an asshole," I spat.

"I didn't do anything," said Kuwabara. "I was just walking down the hall and Hiei slammed me against the wall telling me how to be a better lover."

"Wha...?" Yusuke said, staring at me. "Are you kidding me?"

"You're limping!" I yelled. "And he's treating you like he doesn't love you."

"He doesn't!" said Yusuke. "Keep your fat head out of my business, Hiei, before I slap you stupid."

"Why would you give yourself to someone who doesn't love you? Why would you let him fuck you if you don't like it?"

Yusuke glared at me. "Get out. Leave."

"I'm right aren't I? You love him so you're whoring yourself because you think it will make your emptiness go away. It won't work, so stop doing it."

Yusuke smacked me across the face. "Don't call me a whore. This is none of your concern."

"Is that true, Yusuke?" asked Kuwabara. "Do you love me?"

"Yeah, okay? I love you! I'm sorry but when you said 'promise you won't fall in love with me' it was already too late."

Kuwabara suddenly crumbled to the floor. "What the hell?" said Yusuke.

Kurama came running down the stairs and knelt beside Kuwabara. "Hiei, search his mind with the jagan."

I nodded. I pried into his mind to search for what could have caused the sudden collapse. I was relieved when I realized what it was. "He's fine," I said. "He's merely been poisoned. The antidote was telling him that you loved him. Which was why he told you not to love him. He should wake in a few hours, very confused as to what he is doing here. And he does love you, Yusuke."

"He wasn't aware of what was going on?" asked Kurama.

"I believe he wasn't. He is going to be very confused."

"Who did this to him?" asked Yusuke.

"One of your servants must have slipped it into his coffee. That was when I noticed a difference in his energy," said Kurama. "Now we must find out which it was."

_**Okay, I promised a longer update but... Sorry, this is the best I can do. I just started school again and my muses aren't being very kind at the moment.**_


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